I had the fun of staying at Las Casas Filipinas de Acuzar in Bagac, Bataan over the weekend. With hordes of transplanted heritage houses all around me, the cam-whore (or cam-gigolo?) in me was unleashed. The lovely setting likewise spoke of grand haciendas of old and somehow reminded me of Doña (or Señora) Angelika Santibañez of the hit 90's Mexican telenovela Marimar.
Doña Angelika was the villain, one who always looked down on Marimar and the poor in general, forever barking orders at her servant Facundo. Thanks to memes that glorify her snobbish attitude with humor, the character is currently in a resurgent mode, at least among Filipinos since the memes are in Filipino. Marimar was dubbed in Filipino when it was shown on TV here.
So just for fun, I thought of channeling my inner Doña Angelika as Señor Santibañez, with an imaginary Facundo in the background.
And just for the record, since most of the photos here look their best in sepia, I'm wearing a purple polo shirt paired with white shorts and blue leather slippers.
So here goes Señor Santibañez...
"Facundo, masyadong mainit! Ipa-aircon ang buong hacienda!"
(Facundo, it's so humid! Have air conditioning installed throughout the whole hacienda!)
"Facundo, gusto ko ang fountain na ito. Bilhin ito nang maiuwi na sa bahay!"
(Facundo, I like this fountain. Buy it so we can bring it home!)
"Facundo, bakit sarado ang restaurant na ito? Bilhin ito nang mabuksan na't nais kong kumain!"
(Facundo, why is this restaurant closed? Buy it so we can open it because I want to eat!)
"Facundo, bakit nakayapak ang mga manok na ito? Masyadong kawawa. Bilhan silang lahat ng mga sapatos!"
(Facundo, why are these chickens barefoot? They're so pitiful. Buy all of them shoes!)
"Facundoooo! Sinong hampaslupa ang sumira ng monumento ko?"
(Facundoooo! Which vagrant destroyed my monument?)
"Facundo, gusto kong palitan ang mga painting na ito ng mukha ko."
(Facundo, I want these paintings replaced with my face.)
"Facundo, tawagin ang pari! Nais kong magsimba."
(Facundo, get the priest here! I want to hear mass.)
"Facundo, hindi ko gusto ang mga tanawin mula dito. Palitan ang mga tanawin!"
(Facundo, I don't like the view from here. Change the scenery!)
"Facundo, nanakawan tayo! Nawawala ang lahat ng kagamitan!"
(Facundo, we were robbed! All the furniture's gone!)
"Facundo, bilhin ang bahay na ito't dito patirahin ang mga aso!"
(Facundo, buy this house and let the dogs stay here!)
"Facundo, ipasara ang kalye na ito! Nais kong magkape dito sa labas."
(Facundo, close down this whole street! I want to have coffee here outside.)
'La lang. These old structures just give me that feeling like a don thing.
Polo shirt (Giordano); shorts (Regatta); leather slippers (Oxygen); watch (Jeremy Scott for Swatch, decorative frame removed).