Questions I want to ask the 2013 senatorial candidates

It's just five days to go before the 2013 Midterm Elections. Just some of the questions I want to ask those aspiring for one of the 12 seats in the Senate:

Collage from thepoc.net

Samson Alcantara - What is equitable distribution of economic wealth to you and what are you going to do to make this happen? How will you deal with hardworking individuals who've made a fortune against those who are poor and jobless and who can't even care to lift a finger?

Sonny Angara - How will you reconcile your platform of making education accessible to more Filipinos with that "No late payment policy" enforced in U.P. where you sat in its Board of Regents? And oh, did you really pay Coco Martin Php 35M to endorse you?

Bam Aquino - How, as a legislator, will you be able to provide employment opportunities for fresh graduates? Also, have you tried other eyeglass frames? Or contact lenses, perhaps?

Greco Belgica - What do you mean by a "government that is kind to the church and who shall respect and safeguard the God-given autonomy of the church?" Are you talking only of one church or religion? And what about a church that oversteps its boundaries and meddles with politics? Also, have you thoroughly studied the repercussions of that flat 10% income tax platform of yours?

Nancy Binay - How do you see your platform of establishing more children's hospitals and bigger wings for children in government hospitals realized when most government hospitals are facing privatization? And why are you even running?

Teddy Casiño - To terminate unjust impositions by the U.S., IMF, and WB, we need to stop borrowing, right? Do you have a solution as to where the government will source funds when we've been operating on a deficit year after year? Also, why do you have a penchant for bashing other candidates on Twitter? And by the way, what do you have to say to Joma Sison?

Alan Peter Cayetano - Since you're advocating for accountability and transparency in both local and national government, are you proposing that all SALNs be made readily available to the public for scrutiny? How about waiving all bank secrecy rights over all forms of deposits and whatnot? How will you secure the required number of votes in the Senate to get that enacted into law?

Tingting Cojuangco - Oh, you're running? Anyway, your platform of government centers around farmers. Whatever happened to the Hacienda Luisita land distribution? Status, please.

Lito David - Uhm... please introduce yourself?

JC de los Reyes - It's you again! But I like that you want the pork barrel abolished. Good luck with that. How do you even see that bill getting passed in first reading alone?

JV Ejercito - You were in business before all this. What's with politics that business can't provide? Also, I didn't know the Sangguniang Kabataan still existed. What improvements are you planning for that program anyway?

Jack Enrile - Explain your many absences in Congress. And why do you want food, lots of food? Were you deprived as a child? Do you still keep in touch with your old bodyguard, the one you said shot Alfie Anido?

Francis Escudero - You have a lot on your platform, not to mention you talk a lot, sometimes in circles, which only confuses me. So in hindsight, what do you really stand for? And are you still eyeing the presidency?

Bal Falcone - What in the world is job creation through "securitization specialty?"

Dick Gordon - It seems that your platform focuses on government aid. But since disasters and AFP-rebel clashes don't happen everyday, what else do you plan to do?

Edward Hagedorn - How will you realize your plan of replicating Puerto Princesa's feat as a carbon-neutral city on a nationwide scale? What's your stand on mining?

Gringo Honasan - Your platform sounds so generic. So what about public health? What about environmental protection? What reforms in the AFP and PNP do you want? How will you provide high quality education and more opportunities for the poor? On a side note, do you see yourself figuring in another coup?

Risa Hontiveros - Why are you picking on Nancy Binay? She's winning, so why screw it up with a debate? Get over it already. But are you willing to engage in a debate with someone else? And what's with the shawl?

Loren Legarda - What do you have to say about your being labeled a "political prostitute?" You've been jumping from one political party to another ever since you entered politics. I'm confused. What is it that you really stand for anyway?

Marwil Llasos - Did you ever think you had a chance at winning?

Ernesto Maceda - You want the senior citizen discount increased to 30%. So are you okay with businesses maintaining a profit margin of more than that? Doesn't this conflict with your pro-labor stance?

Jamby Madrigal - Aren't you tired yet? And oh, by the way, have you been back to pick up garbage at wherever that place was when Paolo Bediones interviewed you back in 2010?

Mitos Magsaysay - Do you think we're ready for decentralization of local government units? Can LGUs support themselves? Has any of your sponsored/authored bills been enacted into law?

Jun Magsaysay - You want to "link every person to the internet." How will you do that? Do you surf the web?

Mon Montaño - What rights of veterans and retired soldiers are you pushing for? Apart from a police and armed forces-centric platform, what else do you have to offer to the rest of the Philippine populace?

Ricardo Penson - So you just want to end political dynasties. What else?

Koko Pimentel - You want to push for the use of hydroelectric power plants to solve the energy crisis in Mindanao? Have you really thought of that or are you just riding on an issue? And what's with all the dancing? Why don't we connect something to you to generate electricity from you instead?

Grace Poe - I still don't know what your father started that you want to finish (not continue but finish). What is it again?

Christian Señeres - What do you mean by "involvement of the Church in eradicating hunger and poverty?" Can't you just keep the Church away from the government, please?

Antonio Trillanes IV - Forget about platform. Do you seriously think there wasn't anything wrong with those mutinies you've led? Have you no regard for private property and public order? Why so overly critical of GMA yet so kiss-ass with Noynoy? Explain.

Eddie Villanueva - At this point, is it still God wanting you to run for public office or is it just your own personal ambition that you're hearing? And why do often refer to yourself in the third person? What is it, an out-of-body experience or something?

Cynthia Villar - Aren't you afraid of being confined in a hospital? And assuming you're not figuring well in the surveys, would you really have the audacity to declare that you're gonna enroll in BS Nursing if you lose?

Juan Miguel Zubiri - With all your plans for replicating Bukidnon's 100% health coverage and mandating elementary and high schools to provide students with free breakfast and lunch, have you even thought of how all these will be funded?

However which way I look I see garbage. Unfortunately.